We have small chances to catch great memories

So it's been awhile since I have posted. It has been a crazy month but it seems like things are back on track. We have taken the engagement pictures which I will say turned out wonderful. Tanya and Ryan Dunn did a wonderful job. If you have time please go to http://www.creativelydunn.smugmug.com/ and check out the photographs. I enjoyed spending Sunday afternoon with  a wonderful couple. They worked together so well, one would have the vision and the other would snap the shot. It amazes me when a couple has that love that they can make any vision come true. To hear them drop little stories about there relationship was great. Things that they had done together or as a family. Ryan's love for Tanya and wanting her to have all she needs to make her photography wonderful is so awesome. We took pictures at several places that Tanya had creative visions on and a few places that were special to us. It was very chilly that morning and I love looking at the pictures because Ashley would press so close to me to keep warm. It's confusing to me sometimes how I let time pass me by and not see what I see in those photos. Her face shows warmth, vulnerability, beauty and a love that I take for granted somedays. I need to remind myself everyday that photographs as beautiful as they are memories in the past now. I need to catch every moment of the now, that I have with her let her know know how I feel about her. In some of the those pictures you will see the most wonderful little creature God has given to me. His smile is genuine and eyes tell you how wonderful he is. I thank Ryan and Tanya for catching some of the most precious moments of Royce and our future family together.

I would like to thank Megan Parsons for helping Ashley with finding some center pieces and taking the time to drive to all the Targets in the Des Moines area to find them. Ashley is starting to put a lot of the details together now. Lisa has been getting some more details on Copper Creek to make sure it is going to meet the needs of the wedding. I can't thank her and Greg enough for the time they give us each week. Lisa drives so far but her love her daughter I'm sure makes it worth every trip. Thanks again Lisa.

I heard a few things in the past month that have made me think so much about the future. We choose to love, we choose to put ourselves out there and not to hide from it. It's scary, it hurts sometimes, it's unknown but each experience is worth it. I smiled the other day thinking of every wonderful thing that I have learned from every relationship I had been in. It has helped me to overcome the bad days that Ashley and I have had reminding me of all the wonderful times we have together. I have also learned that in order for love to grow we need let ourselves be loved. I need to let myself take every touch, embrace, question, look not as something to be guarded against but as what it really is... passion, sensibility, reassurance but most of just unconditional love. Ashley tries so hard to give that to me everyday. I'm blessed but, I catch myself everyday needing to return it. To return what she is so good at.

I want everyone to know that everyday we have the chance to love someone who needs its. It is hard to look passed others faults...but when we accept ours we will be more willing to accept theirs. I hope in time we all can learn from them, change them and become the people we want to be.

Royce: Dad I won two medals today; Me to Royce: you deserve those medals for always waiting for your turn to be recognized. He never says a word.. just Dad. He is my mentor daily.

What I hope 32 years can bring to this new adventure.

I somedays wonder where time has gone. I woke up one day and was able to look back at so much more than I thought I ever would. I have traveled, I have hurt, I have learned, I have succeeded, I have created. I have failed, hurt, lost, caused pain and made mistakes. I hope each day that I can learn from all this and make it all work for the best in this new adventure that has started.

As I say so much I review in my mind the memories of all the people I have met and had conversations with. I have stored a library of stories... real life stories that have enabled to me see things that I could work on, be more opened minded about or just realize that my view is not the only view that is out there.

I discussed several things with Ashley this week that we both thought needed to be addressed. This discussion had lots of pieces about how we could change a few things things to either help is move forward or kill each other. It was very seriouss, it was needed and resolved many issues. The problem with discussions like this is that sudden doubt that is put in ones mind that maybe there is chance that we may not be good enough. It that sudden thought that if things don't change there may a chance that this won't work like we thought it was going to. I think the hardest part about discussion like this is to see the hurt that it causes. To have someone tell you that your not doing something right...when you stop to realize that maybe it's something that we could work....just a crazy thought.

What I have learned throughout my years is those conversations need to happened in order for couples to move on. Those discussions make us take a step back to see all of the situation....to really see what is going on. It helps us to learn to say were sorry, thank you and remember why we fell in love in first place.

Acceptance to one's faults makes us understand we do have faults of our own. What I have learned from so many people and I thank you all... It's not worth it to let those faults stop us from love...life is to short to hurt...have those discussions. Let it out then work together to make them better..(REMEMBER THIS JAV). I have lost so much time and some wonderful people for not doing this.

32 years and I finally see it... Others faults is not a reason to punish...it's a chance to learn to love that person more...God did it, and does it... I promise on the eve my 32 second birthday I work harder to do the same.

Thought. Live your life like your soul wants you to. Look back time with a smile.

Royce: Dad everyone got a blue today...Even the naughty kid got a green, DAD to ROYCE..Believe in that little boy..it probably made him feel good...Please teach your kids to believe in others early life.

Ashley, thank you for today.

Autum..Thought Sept 28, 2010

There are moments in life that we will never forget. There are people that we meet that leave a memory for rest of your life. It maybe that one smile, look, word or last turn before they walked away that leaves that mark. I had a conversation with a few people this week who informed me that they have reached another mile stone in there in marriage. The smile they have when they tell me that there wedding Anniversary is near is amazing. You can see a world wind of memories all at one time cross there mind. That spouse is that person who left all those memories I was talking about before. The growth they have experienced together has taken them down a road of memories. A belief that love would help them with the start of their families, finanical (dislike that word), homes, milestones, down falls, struggles but most of all being with each other. I love that they shared that glimpse of all those with me when they smile right before telling me the exact day they said "I DO".

When the days get long and the small things start wearing on me, I need to stop for second, and take the time to look at the wonderful things that I have seen with Ash. I wish some days I wasn't human and could turn off the negative things and just remember the wonderful times. Though as I think about it without the rough times those smiles may have been different.

I love that we have time to sit back and smell the air and listen to music. It helps me put into prospective all the things in life that I have to look forward to and already have.

We have no choice to be inspiring....no choice. No matter what we do we influence people's lives in one way or another.

This week the cement to another smile...on a random day that a couple picked to say "I DO"  which in turn leads to that smile  a year...two...ten.. twenty maybe fifty with me saying hey it's my Anniversary this week.

Royce motion (no quote:) Salutes his day when day is leaving.. Catching Dad's kiss that his Dad blew to him....puts in his pocket..

It's been awhile..Sept 23.2010

Wow, it's been awhile since I have given the blog an update. The time is passing quickly and seems like so many things have happened. Ashley and I have wrapped up the church, photographer, cake, dj and venue for the reception. Ashley and Lisa (Ashley's mom) Will be meeting with Copper Creek next week to hash out some of the details. The wedding will be held in Colfax at Immaculate Conception. We will be using Brent Hagan for all our music needs. Brent is a long time friend of Ashley and her family. He is getting married October 9, 2010 and just want to give him a shout out. He is the type if guy who is willing to do anything at a drop of a hat for you. Shelby your a lucky a girl...just kidding your both great for each other. I love that we have had worked so hard together to accomplish setting these things up for the wedding. It has be challenging for us some days. We do our best each day to make sure that if were upset we let each other know.....that we are upset...just kidding....ok maybe not. I think this process will help us grow and work on situations that may occur in the future.

We will have more details next week about the details of the wedding once we get some of the meetings out of they way. I'm really excited to see how the details come into play.

I want to share a few insights that I have the last few weeks about my life. I feel blessed on a daily basis that God has put the most wonderful people in my life. Everyday more and more people come into my life and it's flat out amazing. I want to inform everyone that I have met that I take a little piece of you with me each day. I listen to the things you talk to me about, your personalities, thoughts and smiles. Its just amazing that I have some many great mentors. When days are long it's everyone that I have met and those memories that help me through the tough times.

I had an ironic situation occur this week. I found out that my dad has some medical issues that he is dealing with. He has always put my family first throughout the years. He worked hard to make sure that I could go after the goals I wanted to achieve. Yesterday I had a chance to rappel off the financial building in Des Moines. I have an extreme fear of heights...EXTREME. When I was on that building yesterday I thought about a time when my Dad and I were on the outlook tower in San Antonio, Texas. I was crawling on my hands and knees around the building. He just laughed and smiled at me while he walked and I crawled around it. When I was ready not go down that building yesterday I thought about that.. I thought about that laugh and that smile. It reminded that he's going to be out of his comfort zone while dealing with this new change in his life. I needed to embrace this opportunity, get busy rappelling down this building. The first few steps of walking of a ledge of the building was the hardest. It's the unknown of not being sure if the rope is going to hold or not. Each step as much as I wanted to think it would get better was still little scary. Thinking about the directions given to you and saying them over and over in my head. I will say it was the longest 10 minutes of my life. I would like to thank the guide who got me started, stating that a 70 year old woman rappelled prior to my descent. (I keep seeing Lance Farrell and Todd Dorr waving at me with big smiles on the 25 floor I believe). Life is short, opportunities come and go, you have to take them when the chance comes. SCARED or not SCARED. It makes the times when you don't have choice about the challenges presented to you a little easier.

What I loved so much about yesterday was when I got to the bottom Ashley was waiting for me. Lisa thanks for the support too, it meant a lot. I know that no matter what happens in this lifetime Ashley will be there. Just like I have learned that all the wonderful people in my life present and past would be there. You are all wonderful.

Royce quote: Currently in restroom, "Oh GOD!" It's nice to know that your present is with Lord no matter where we our in life.

Thought. If you have a chance listen, walk slow, take the time to enjoy, listen and just breath. Walk up the parking ramp don't take the elevator or stairs...unless you run gym and supposedly  need to be there at that present moment!

PS.
Ashley sent me a text this week that made me really think. It stated that the road we have been on has been interesting. I can't wait for the day that I blog our story for people to read. It's a story of  hurting, friendship, chance but most of all love. Timing sometimes is everything...in this case it was set up almost perfect. It has not always been easy, but worth it. If we were a song were getting ready write the refrain, the story has been started now we get to put the words in that we want to hear repeatedly...I do. I will and I Love you.

Love lesson's

We have made some huge strides in the last few days. Ashley attended a wedding show this weekend with her mom. She got to model some dresses. The photos I got to see were great.  Sometimes we take for granted the small things that bring us together. It was looking at her eyes took me back to so many moments that I remember like yesterday. In 228 days I will be waiting for her at the end of aisle knowing that beautiful smile will be mine forever. I need to remember I don't want to change her...she is what I fell in love with. I will adapt to her like I know she adapts to me.

This morning we met with the baker at Bake Shoppe in Urbandale. He was a very nice and had so many ideas. You can see it in his eyes that he loves what he does for living. He was so proud of his cakes and told us the story about how he got into the bakery business. His family had owned the bakery for many years before he took it over. I loved that he also had good things to say about other bakers in town. Ashley and I have chosen to do a two tear cake. This will be us to cut and share in the future. White square with red stripping, not sure if it stripping but something like that around it. We searched a lot of bakery's for what we were looking for. We decided on the Bake Shoppe not only for the wonderful cake but for there wonderful brownies. The red velvet brownies are heavenly. The density of the brownie makes it almost like a cake. I would like to thank Lori for trying one this morning and giving us the thumbs up. Brownies are the way we our going for the wedding. I can't wait for everybody to taste them they are so good. We will have different varieties for the guest. I also have to tell you the difference in price is amazing. They will look very nice in the setting that we our having.  I just want to inform you that the passion that Dave has for his baked good is so amazing. There is something to be said about having passion for what you do. People can see it. I highly recommend Dave and the Bake Shoppe. I look forward for Lisa to come down and taste them.

I have learned so much from my parents that I pray I take with me through out this life. We run on a road that is bumpy and not so smooth at times. We will cry, hurt and doubt. We will make mistakes and have pain that is unbearable at time. We must remember that look that brought us together, the love letter that was written, the proposal, wedding, birth of child or the slow dance on the kitchen floor. I work on this everyday. Pray that God give me the strentgh that my mom and dad have had for so many years.

Thought: When you hurt don't push away the things you love the most.

Jennifer you got the call, thank you.

Today was a very good for the wedding plans. It seems like we have finally made a choice on a wedding photographer. Jennifer Harned who I met a few weeks ago. She was just getting ready to shoot her first wedding when we met. Ashley and I ran into her again this afternoon. I believe that we have are given chances in the world to meet people it is what we do when we meet those people. I had this feeling that she was the right pick. I think it might also say something about someone who looks right at you and informs you that it is OK if we didn't choose her for the wedding. I looked at Ashley right after that and said we should book her. After knocking out some details she informed us that she was open on April 30, 2010. I'm glad that we to use her and be able to watch her grow her business. Jennifer is a steal, I really feel in the next few years I look at her website and be like who we really got steal. I look forward to working with her.

It seems like things are coming into play and falling into the right place. Ashley is going to knock out the church details hopefully by next weekend. We just need to finalize some details with Copper Creek and a lot of the big things are taken care of.

We have had some talks about the flower arrangements Ashley spoke with Shannon who she will be meeting next Wed to get some details. Ashley has dark red roses in mind for the flower arrangements.

There is a bridal show this weekend that I will be attending.....awesome nothing like Sunday bridal show to get a guy all fired up! If anyone would like to join me this weekend please feel to bring the shots...just kidding. I do look forward to seeing what is out there but, most important seeing Ashley in a Wedding Dress. It's not very often you get to see a sneak peek of you future bride before the wedding.

I know everyone has to get tired of me talking about Royce but holy cow that kid is amazing. He did a standing jump onto Ashley shoulders today. No really though he is remarkable. He's whole lot of emotions bundle up in a little bundle of joy. I almost tear up thinking about his little laugh and wonderful smile. He to is falling in love with Ashley. He continues to announce to me that he can name all his grandma's and grandpa's. Thank you God for the most wonderful thing..my child.
Royce quote. " Dad I dominated cutting this piece of paper all the way up to the butterflies"

PS. We made it to school on time "YES"

Momma Lisa thank you for wanting to be such a big part of Royce's life. I'm grateful for the time you spend with us. Mom's are wonderful people..I miss my own daily. Thanks again Lisa your times means a lot to us.

Thought: We will make mistakes...please understand that those mistakes were meant to happen... without them we would never find the path to meet wonderful places and people.
Take the time to listen and have a conversation with someone..it's totally worth it.

Royce is growing everyday

Throughout this time of getting engaged and planning the wedding our little Royce Tuel is growing. Royce has been full of love and joy. He has opened his little heart to Ashley. They enjoy spending time together and the occasion karate chop to the buttock. Royce has found joy jumping over, springing off and using Ashley's backside as a punching bag. Last Friday her buttocks was used as Royce's first hurdle at the gym.  Just kidding but not, he loves hanging with Ashley. Ashley has worked on going from taking care of a little dog, to a 5 yr old kid. She is doing a good job and in the last few weeks she has shown how important it is to learn as much about him as possible.

Royce was asked last week to be the best man at the wedding. Royce was nice of enough to tell me that he would be more than willing to stand by his dad at the wedding.  The boy chokes me up more than I ever thought a little kid could.

Royce inspires me everyday, he enlightens days that are bad, he embraces my faults with smiles and loves me unconditionally. I love that he has started to do the same for Ashley.

Thought... A smile can push someone to push themselves harder, a compliment can make a person believe in themselves again and a hello can save someones life. Have a great day tomorrow.